Every guy needs tips on being a more romantic man. Men are not naturally romantic.
Why are men not programmed to be romantic? Because we tend to seek power and respect in our lives over relationships. The funny thing is instinctually, we seek power and respect to make ourselves more attractive to girls. But if we focus on being more romantic instead of powerful, we will instantly attract more ladies.
I’m not saying women like wimps, because they don’t. They view confidence and the ability for a guy to protect her very high on their attractiveness scale.
But this is just 1 of many traits women look for, and guys spend way too much time focusing on power and not enough time on the other traits that make him attractive, like being romantic.
This article is designed to give guys some tips on being a more romantic man. Before we dig into how to be more romantic, lets understand a little more about love and romance.
According to the Internet, romance is a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. This is simply the act of making the woman your with feel special, and attractive, and loved.
Romance tends to come naturally when you are in the first few weeks of a relationship but much harder down the road. Why is this? Because the more we know about the other person, the less mystery there is under the covers. This can be explained by our brain chemistry.
The Chemistry of Love
The chemistry of the body (and your brain) control your feelings during the 3 different stages of love. No tips for being a more romantic man can be complete without understanding the science of love. The chemicals are slightly different for guys and girls and so are the effects, but this is just to give you an idea of what’s happening under the covers.
Stage 1: Lust
In this stage, there is little to no romance to be seen. This is both people just reacting to the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen floating around your body when you meet. Both of these hormones play an important role in increasing libido in both men and women, and is the main cause for the line “I have no idea what I ever saw in him/her”.
Stage 2: Attraction
Who doesn’t love lust, but it may or may not lead to long term romance. If you do make it to the second stage in your relationship, chemicals become much more important. These are the chemicals that make some people feel dreamy and other people feel obsessive and anxious.
Relax, you are not having a heart attack. You are just starting to fall in love.
During this attraction phase one may experience a feeling of craving for the other person. This stage is often considered the “honeymoon phase” between two people and usually only lasts a few months, but is the stage where romance levels are the highest.
Stage 3: Attachment
The attachment phase is the bonding of 2 people in love. Now that you’re really committed to someone else, the chemical oxytocin (also called the “cuddle hormone”), help you stay connected. This is released when people touch each other and get the feeling of closeness.
The other chemicals that are released are called serotonin and endorphins. Serotonin can increase our dependence on another person and endorphins are associated with feelings of attachment and comfort.
After a few years, your brain will slow down the release of these chemicals which is why romance often decreases after a few years.
But not to worry. Over time, your body will release another molecule called CRF (corticotrophin-releasing factor) and helps keep couples together. CRF is released whenever couples are separated; it creates an unpleasant feeling that makes them miss each other.
Hence the term, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
So the goal of any couple is to relive the love felt during stage 2 (the Honeymoon phase) and to carry it into the attachment stage. This is the purpose of Romance, and why we need tips on being a more romantic man.
Tips on Being a More Romantic Man
To keep you both in the honeymoon phase of love, you need to be more romantic. This is not just an performance to be played out like you are in an actor in a movie. You must really want to do these things for the woman you love more then anything.
Romance is about showing you care more about your partner more then you care about yourself. Most of these tips on being a more romantic man are just ways to show this to her.
1. There is No Cologne Like Confidence
Confidence makes the man. It makes you stronger, smarter, attractive, and more successful. It is the core of everything that men want in life.
So what is stopping you from being confident? Confidence is all in your head and you are the master of your thoughts and actions. Just believe you can do it, and you will have confidence. That’s all there is to it.
But be very careful not to cross over into arrogance. Knowing you can do something and bragging are very different things and bragging never displays confidence to the ladies. It just displays your ego.
2. Be Spontaneous, and a Planner!
Sorry gentlemen, this one is not easy. As a confident man, you are expected to know what to do to make her happy (with no information to go on), plan a memorable date, and make it look spontaneous. Google date ideas and make one your own with things that are special to her.
This can only come with practice (and a whole lot of confidence in your plan). Do your homework. If planning a movie night, know what movies she likes, what she has already seen, and plan something out without reveling your plans along the way (in order to look spontaneous).
Also, throw in some things to make it memorable. Maybe picnic desert on the beach or a walk along the river. Making sure you are prepared for anything will tell her you cared enough to make sure everything was perfect.
3. Be Honest, Genuine, and Authentic
No woman likes a dishonest man. Actually, no one does, so be honest with everyone, including yourself.
If you tell her you will call her, then call her. Even if you have bad news, have the courage to face the truth and tell her. Lies will always come out in time and to save all the trouble and your reputation, always be honest.
Often people pretend to be someone they are not in order to impress someone else. This just builds a relationship on a foundation of lies that will come falling down sooner then later. Better to be honest from day one and if the relationship was meant to be, it will be. If not, move on.
4. Make her Laugh
Laughing is always at the center of great times. Whether with friends, family, or the one you love, laughing is the sign that everyone is having a great time. SO it makes perfect sense why when on a date, being romantic will involve making your girl laugh.
Some people are naturally funny, and other people need to work at it. Further more, some people’s humor are more in sync then other’s. For example, I think some of the things I say are very funny, but most people around me don’t seem to get my humor.
This one is very tough to pull off because there are lots of rules about what’s funny, and what’s not. The best place to start is to make fun of yourself. Every woman loves a guy who doesn’t take himself too seriously and self deprecating humor is a great way to show it.
Think of some funny things you have done and be willing to share them. Times you messed up or embarrassed yourself in some way. Most of the time, she will love your stories and be more attracted to you because of them.
5. Small Gestures of Love
At the end of the day, every woman wants to know you’re thinking about her. This doesn’t need to be complicated because you should be thinking about her anyway. The simple tip he is to take some action to let her know you are thinking about her.
This could be little notes or messages, doing small things for her, or making her life just a little bit easier. Every girl has a list of her favorite things. Learn what is important to your lady, and do it.
There are an unlimited number of gestures you can do here and the key is to be unique. Do something that will surprise her so she can tell her friends about the creative ways you show your love. Call her at unexpected times to say you love her (text it if more appropriate), write her a note, or just give her an unexpected kiss.
6. Be a Chivalrous Gentleman
A woman wants to have a man who can make her feel like a lady. A gentleman who behaves in a chivalrous manor will exceed her expectations in every way.
Chivalrous gentlemen are respectful and courteous towards everyone. He will make sure to open any door for her and make sure she is comfortable and taken care of. This is not because she cannot take care of herself, because she can. It is because she is important to you, and you are making sure she know it.
To further your gentleman education, I recommend also reading the 21 Rules to Being a Gentleman. Being a gentleman today is one of the best ways to stand apart from the rest of the guys and get the girl!
7. Surprise Her
I do not mean to hide behind a door and jump out to scare her when she least expects it. I mean to do something unexpected to show her you still love her and only her.
Little unexpected notes or text messages, flowers at work for no reason, or a little gift out of the blue. Maybe take her on a unplanned romantic dinner or weekend getaway.
A gentlemen is never boring when it comes to showing his love so do something interesting. If you need ideas, the internet is loaded with ‘romantic surprise ideas’ to adapt to your relationship.
8. Take Care of Yourself
It is true that a woman cares more about your character and ‘heart’ then she cares about your appearance, but this does not mean she doesn’t care about your appearance! She just cares more about the inside then the outside.
Make sure you let her know that you are taking care of yourself for her and not to attract other ladies. You everyday actions should make this clear and make sure she never had a reason to doubt your intentions.
Your health, fitness level, and personal style are all a reflection of how you love and respect her, just like how she does it for you in return. It is never OK to let yourself go after marriage. You should strive to be the same (or better) person you were when you met.
9. Listen to Understand
Ladies love to talk about their day. It is a form of venting and helps to process and deal with the stress of everyday life. Most guys are use to this and tend to either do 2 things; tune it out or step in and solve her problems.
Sorry guys, these are the wrong things to do. Girls just want you to listen and understand, and not reply with answers (unless she asks for them). Listen to her, show her you care, and understand things from her point of view.
10. Take Her Dancing
Ladies love to dance. Some love to dance in public, some private, but they all love to do it.
If you want to earn major romantic points, take her out dancing somewhere. If you are like me and have no idea how to dance, take her out for dancing lessons. It is a great way to spend time together and will save you some embarrassment when you need to go to the next family wedding.
11. Compliment Her
Ladies spend a lot of time preparing themselves to go out with you. With clothes selection, exercise (to fit into those clothes), makeup, hair, and accessories, it could take hours. And she is doing this for you everyday.
Take the time to tell her how great she looks. This should be as often as possible but no less then once a week. You need to mix it up. Complements must be honest and truthful. If you like her shoes, say so. If she smells great, let her know. If her eyes are sparkling, make it a point of telling her.
Complements are not just about looks either. Maybe she said something funny or really insightful. Maybe she cooked a really great meal, had a success at work, or created an art project. There are always complements waiting to be said and a gentleman will always make sure to complement his lady.
12. Flirt With Her In Public
We all know flirting leads to sex and when you flirt with her in private, she knows what you are driving towards. But when you flirt with her in public, it is just telling her how special she is to you and is a major romantic gesture that she will love.
Little things like holding hands, looking into her eyes and kissing her, and touching her arm or hair are all great flirts she will notice and love. Little things become major things when done right.
13. Take Her Shopping
This is not taking her shopping for something for you. This is shopping for her. I’m talking shoe stores at the mall and maybe a bed and bath store. This is the painful stuff for sure.
This is not what most of you want to do. This is a great way to spend time together and maybe do a little flirting.
If you have been together for a while, then a great shopping trip would be to go shopping for jewelry.
This one is overly romantic. I love doing this because I am usually pretty bad at gift buying. By shopping together, I know she will get things she loves, we get to spend time together, and she will always remember the trip when she takes it out to wear. This is a win/win all around.
14. Have A Fancy Date
Women love getting dressed up. Going on a fancy date gives her a chance to dress up for you, and gives you a chance to dress up for her. A well tailored suit is a major turn on for most women as is the way she will look in that dress.
Fancy dates don’t need to be budget breakers either (but should be if you can afford it). It is just an excuse to have a chance of pace and experience something new. The memories will stand out and get her a chance to wear the new jewelry you bought in the shopping trip together.
15. Picnic Date
Fancy dates are great but are expensive and often saved for those special occasions. Picnics are for anytime and super romantic when done right.
To earn extra romantic points, make it a surprise date, maybe with another couple.
The point is to make great memories together and enjoying simple food and wine (or champagne). Sophistication is key to a successful picnic. Without sophistication, its just called camping.
Planning little things to do or if its going to be a whole day thing, reading and enjoying great weather will go a long way to make it memorable. If you can time it with a sunset, you can double the romance too.
16. Do House Chores
There are few images women find more attractive then a guy using a vacuum or doing other related chores. Why? Because it shows you care about the home and life you built together.
It is not limited to cleaning. Cooking dinner, doing laundry, and doing some ironing (and offering to iron her clothes) are all romantic chores she will love too.
There are few things that can compete with a guy cooking a romantic candle lite dinner for his girl, and it is so easy to do. The key is to pay attention to every detail and make it perfect.
There are many, many more things you can do to be more romantic but I just wanted to get you started with my 16 tips on being a more romantic man. Romance is not a once a year, Valentines day activity, but must be done at every opportunity.
Most importantly, it needs to be done selflessly to really mean something.
If you have any tips on being a more romantic man, help your fellow guys and put them in the comment sections below so we can all add to our romantic toolbox. For additional motivation, check out my Gentlemen Quotes on Pinterest.
If you liked this article, please consider signing up for the email list and be the first to know when new articles are posted. For additional reading, I recommend reading 50 Quotes on How to Treat a Woman to really impress and attract the woman of your dreams.
Thanks for reading!